A dear friend from college sent me this quote today and though it is very sad, I have reflected on it for hours and it has truly helped me!
"An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth. Then whispered as she closed the book; too beautiful for Earth."
Dave and I wanted this baby more than anything! Dave and I wanted our twins more than anything too! We were devastated to find out there is no heart beat. When we talk about this together and why this is happening, we realize we want a healthy and happy baby. As a mother and father, you want to protect your children from the ills of the world and you want to do everything in your power to give him/her a great, vibrant start into the world! These miscarriages are God's way of telling us that something was not right. Something about these babies was not healthy.
Tomorrow is my second D&C procedure and I can think of thousands of things I would rather do. My husband will be with me in the waiting room and he somehow makes things better. I have gained such an admiration for women who go through this three, four and five times. HOW? How can someone be so strong? They give me courage. (On a side note, Dave and I have talked about how many times this has happened to women before the amazing technology of today. What happened to them? They likely passed a baby painfully on their own or even worse, died. Thank God for advanced technology.)
Moving forward we will continue to be strong together and go about our business. Though it makes me sick the thought of this happening to us a third time, we want this. If at first (or even second) you don't succeed....TRY, TRY, AGAIN! Baker Family Rule # 3 is Baker's never quit! The Baker babies are tattooed on my heart forever and have taught me strength, patience and unimaginable love. If my life plan was totally up to me, we would have had a baby or two by now but it's so clear to us that not all things are in our control.
We have been blessed with amazing family, friends and neighbors! I will forever be grateful for them!
XO XO XO! Hugs and Kisses to all of you and THANK YOU for all of your support, prayers and love.
